Giant Puppet

There’s been a bit of noise around a video that hit youtube earlier in the month. It’s about a giant drunkard with a disgruntled look on his face.

In Ireland a skilled stilt walker has donned the outfit of a giant puppet complete with a pint of guinness, a bottle of beer, a cigarette hanging out of his mouth and a drunken swagger that would have the most cynical among us appreciate how lifelike the 10ft+ puppet comes across.

There’s something to be said for those walking the streets along side this performer who has no supporting crew and no supporting apparatus. Kids and elderly folk alike take joy from the fun in the event, and good on ‘em I say!

Dogs Dogs Dogs

According to an article recently published in The Sun.. DOGS ARE REALLY EXPENSIVE!

When I was growing up there was always a family dog: my duties included the occasional feeding and regular walking. It’s a stress to look after such a dependant animal when you’re a little ‘un and as much as I loved the dog and walking it, it was a heavy weight to know I had a daily duty to the thing. Never had it crossed my mind that my parents (the grown adults that caved to my demands for a dog in the first place) had to consider health care, diet, boredom factors and so on, let alone the sheer amount of damage it was doing to their current accounts.

The infant way of translating the situation is that there can’t be much to spend money on. The young adult equivalent is remembering the times you ignored as an infant and vaguely remembering that “dogs cost money”. It appears that the mature approach is one of actual number crunching and the realisation that dogs can regularly cost as much as the running of a car. The whippet is the most expensive dog in terms of upkeep looking at “an average of £4,631.90 a year”. I’ve never spent that much money on a car.

Food, vet bills, grooming, kennels, insurance, accessories and gifts mean whippet-owners fork out a total of £66,236.17 caring for their pooch.

spacerThe study found that the gentle dogs — which only grow to a height of 20 inches tall and weigh a maximum of 30lbs — eat £996.67 worth of food every year.

Their vet bills come to £662.38, grooming costs £547.14 annually and when going on holiday owners spend a further £190.48 on kennels.

Dog lovers also spend £891.90 for insurance for the breed, and another £498.57 is spent yearly on accessories.

So why is it that we keep on going back to them? What is it about our little poochy poos that we need around so much? Is it because they’re the ones that’ll pick up the pieces if there’s no one around to hug? Is it because they’ll pick up the pieces if the pieces are food-based? Because they get the paper and bark at strangers? There are clear benefits to owning a dog. Whippet’s might be expensive but you could get one for a hell of a lot cheaper, right?

Right.. if you’re willing to put up with the occasional barking late at night, a few freak accidents (especially when they’re little), no tennis ball left untouched, food going missing once in a while, the paper getting to you in several sections (far from the sections intended by the publisher), whining for food, or a wee, or a walk, or for the sake of whining.. etc etc.

The point that I’m trying to make is that a dog will only be right for you if a dog is right for you. Yes they can be a pain in the arse a lot of the time, and cost you an arm and a leg, but they are instant companions that won’t judge you. It’s important to realise just how much they love you. It’s easy to see first thing in the morning or right after work when they’re desperate to say hello, but as the evening draws on it’s easy to let Mr Pooch slip your mind, and it’s all the little stupid things that you’ll miss the most. For instance:


The bottom line? This is why there is a cat/dog debate. If dogs were a little cheaper and required a little less maintenance then everyone would have one. As it stands you’ve got the opportunity to pick one or the other.

If you’re a dog person then you’ll spend all day teaching the smallest cutest thing you’ve ever owned how to roll around on the floor as though it’s having a mild seizure, and the vets bill won’t mean a thing.”Honey, think of it as another one of my fantastic financial investments. He may cost a lot, buhe’ll practically pay for himself! And look how cute!”

If you’re not then you’re going to hate every chore they create, and you’ll be another statistic in the great book of animal shelters. DON’T BOTHER!

Source.

Snakes and Vans

As the old saying goes: Snakes and Vans go hand in hand. Wait.

An MOT garage in Bedmont played location to the great snake appearance as Prem Gharu (one of the mechanics) put the finishing touches to a check he was doing on the engine of a van. Hire of an animal handler was definitely not on his mind when he came across a ribbed black lining of what could only be.. rubber? Underneath the bonnet lurked an eight-foot nightmare in the shape of an American Rat Snake: this report suggests that it’s considered one of the more popular house-pets, which immediately puts it into a “safe as houses” category.

Poor Prem wasn’t to know that though, as he “called over one of the apprentices” to see the otherwise motionless reptile begin to squirm.

The Heathrow Animal Reception Centre were called down to take away the slippery intruder, with manager Rob Quest saying: “These types of snake are very common in the pet trade.

“He will have gone missing and was looking for somewhere warm to hide.”

It seems as though all is well in the land of animal rescue, and this can be considered one of the more normal situations in life. Maybe for a mechanic, or a trained animal handler: what about the regular Joe?! I’m no fan of snakes, and if there’s on that’s 8foot, black and right infront of my Swede, I’m liable to be getting a quick-step towards the door.

Of course it’s nothing on finding a Mexican chap in your bonnet, but these are things that I would assume a regular driver might notice after A) feeling the weight of something unusual over the front axle or B) smelling something slightly unusual as the engine begins to heat up.

This leads to my query: how in the name of all things holy can you take a vehicle to be MOT’d without having first checked the engine? I know there’s not really much you can do prior to an MOT when the nerves have kicked in and you’re lacking mechanical training, but having a quick look is part and parcel of letting someone else have a longer look, surely?!

Maybe I’m sounding like a bit of a grumpy granddad now, but I’m starting to think van rental would be a safer option than owning a potential safe haven for snakes in the colder months.

For better or worse, I will not react well if I am ever produced with a “snake in face” scenario. No sirree.