Grape the Vine

I know that by the time I get to 50 I will be one of the more angry members of the public when I’m chugging along in my 2010 Golf  “retro”.. I spend most of the time that I’m behind a wheel letting my fellow drivers/pedestrians know how I’m feeling. This is largely due to my own poor time management and the unfaltering hope that one day I’ll be able to drive as fast as I can possible muster to get to work on time. No traffic constraints, no need to fill up the petrol, no laws. Of course there is only a certain amount that swearing will do. The rest will happen in time.

With global warming and carbon footprints trending over the past few years you’d expect the cars to be the first things that would need to be re-hashed. Of course many of the large companies have started to release entire ranges of eco friendly (or eco friendlier depending on how you look at it) and there are electricity recharge points popping up all over the country, but this isn’t the most pressing concern about our roads at large.

I am at the peak of my game with driving. I always have been. It’s true when people say that you dont learn how to drive until after your test, but it’s also true that you ALWAYS think you’re a LOT better at driving than you are. Every year or two I’ll look back at myself and ask a million questions.. without doubting for a second that I am the best I’ll ever be. Assuming that cars haven’t been decomissioned entirely in the next 30 years this sort of problem may require some attention.

Nearly half of Britain’s 33.5 million motorists are so incompetent they could not pass a driving test.

An investigation suggests that 15 million motorists have picked up so many bad habits that they fall woefully below test standard and are an accident risk.

This is exactly the sort of statistic I thrive on when I’m excusing myself for ranting hopelessly at the back end of a slow moving MG ZR in sky blue, but it does so much more than clear my name in times of need.

What Car? supplied this information indirectly through a story in the mirror which iuncludes the suggestion from “Brake” that we should be compelled to take mandatory tests to “refresh” over the years. I’m happy for this to be the case if it drivers find themselves struggling on the road, but unless I suddenly forget how to accelerate in some moment of ultra-clarity or other such farty means I won’t be needing such a test.

It worries me particularly when you come to think about car hire. One of the key factors in renting a car is that you’ve been driving for at least 3 years (this isn’t necessarily the case, but it’s a fairly universal expectancy), and in terms of this reports it seems that we get worse the further away from the test we get.

Are we looking at a bit more health & safety overkill, or is it reasonable to ask someone to take a test and prove they can drive just before taking a car rental? It seems perfectly sane to me, but then again – I’m fairly sure I wouldn’t fail.

Paul Atkinson of What Car? said: “It’s evident that driving skills learned are easily forgotten once the practical test is passed.”

Ideal.